The punk and metal thing....

This music thing is still fun, so I'm gonna keep it going.

I'll be referring to the last letter in this column here.

I'm gonna pick both sides of this argument apart, because it's fun to do. If you prefer to skip to the end to hear my take on this whole punk vs. metal thing, go for it.

I am using this without permission, but I am using it in an editorial context (and in hopes of getting Queen Bee and Candy for Bad Children some more visits). If they really have such a problem with a little extra publicity, then they can click the linky below....Frankly, I don't think Queen Bee will give a rat's ass- that's why she's cool.

First, to Stu's letter:

Dear Queen Bee,

I have a question. Why are the vast majority of punk rockers so misguided? I am an avid Metalhead and I realize punk and metal are sisters in music but, damn. If I have to hear one more punk bitch about political nonsense he/she doesn't even have a clue about, I'm going to bust some skulls.

Hm. I think this is valid- I do hate it when a song is supposed to be about protesting something but it's not all that clear what it is. It's like the Billy Squier song "The Stroke." People think it's about masturbation. It's about politics, damn it. It's a metaphor for how politicians step over (and screw over) anyone and everyone to ascend to power. See for yourself, and stop being a nimrod. And yes, I think Billy Squier is underrated. Disagree? Bite me.

I don't mind punks or anyone else doing protest music. I'm a big Living Colour fan, after all. I don't like the idea of people doing protest music about shit they know nothing about....you don't hear me making music about, I dunno, injustice in Nigeria. Why? Because other than the fact that the 419 Scam originated there, I know next to nothing about the place.

Stu continues:

From what I can gather, punk music (as well as some metal) is largely based on extreme social reform, down with this, down with that, blah, blah, blah I hate corporate America, on with Anarchy.

And what, pray tell, is wrong with hating Corporate America? I don't hate all of Corporate America, just the fact that a lot of companies have forgotten the things that made them great to begin with. They start small, grow by doing things mostly the right way, then once they get past a certain size, the top brass start to think they are bulletproof. Then they do stupid, cruel, greedy, and selfish things that they said they would never do when they were a little startup in someone's garage. There are companies that haven't forgotten their roots and I have no problems with them.

Anarchy in the real world is purely "might makes right." People who think anarchy would be benevolent and beneficial just perplex me. Yes, the law and "the Man" can be unfair a lot of times, but at least I know that if someone commits a crime against me, I have some chance of getting justice. Benevolent anarchy is a pipe dream. It would be wonderful if it actually worked. Let's face it though, except in tiny little communities (like the "paradise" in that good-premise-but-killed-by-DiCaprio-overacting film The Beach), anarchy won't work. People are inherently evil and someone would always try to gain an advantage over everyone else. Hey, I hope the anarchists can find a little island paradise of their own....but they should be prepared for disappointment.

Let me digress and try to get back on track here. Stu?

I am all for personal opinion. I am NOT all for loud, in your face, ignorant, misinformed opinion; which it has been my experience that most punks are, they're just sad/disillusioned/frustrated/ignorant young people who interestingly enough "grow out of it."

Just because they become wiser in the ways of the world doesn't mean they "grow out of it." They simply temper their old black-and-white notions with a cold dose of reality. Of course, there are some that don't but that has zero to do with them being punk fans, dude.

This is another problem I have. If it's just a phase what is the point?!?! Grow up!!! Realize there is more to music than 3 fucking chords! Listen to some classical music once in awhile!

This is good. Really good. Stu is right- limiting yourself to one kind of music is stifling. "Stability breeds stagnation," I always say. If you never try anything new, your life will be dull, you'll never learn anything, and who knows- you might like it. Steeleraven is trying to get me to listen to more punk, and I am getting her to listen to more metal....it's a good thing on all counts. Even though she would probably punch me in the mouth for saying it, Brody from The Distillers is really fucking cute. It goes against what metal purists would believe, but I'm not a purist anyway (except when it comes to beer). In a sick, twisted, diabolical way, she is totally fucking adorable. But I digress....

Stop bitching about things you know nothing about (nearly anything involving the president or U.S. global policy)!!!! Don't talk to me about dropping out of high school and not going to college like it's a badge of honor because its just sad and I have to endure your shit because your an ignorant uneducated fuck whos going nowhere

OK, now I'm gonna break out my "snooty expensive college education" spectacles....

What's this about uneducated? I will forgive the dangling preposition, because I have no room to talk about that (and this is a letter, not a damned term paper). The same goes for the run-on sentences, because I abuse those too (not to mention parintheses like this and ellipses). There is less excuse for the misuse of "its." You are using the contraction of "it is," man. Don't forget the apostrophe. In the same vein, it is "you're," (not "your"), and "who's" (not "whos").

Don't call someone out for being uneducated and make the same goddamned grammatical error three times in one paragraph, OK, Stu? You're (not "your") making metal geeks like myself look stupid. I admit it, I had to double-check the spelling of "spectacles." Nobody's perfect. Would it kill you people to fucking proofread shit? I'm not demanding perfection, but shit, 3 typos in one short paragraph is too many.

I do agree, however, about the fact that dropping out is not a badge of honor. Skipping out on college is wasting an opportunity to fight all of the injustices that these people talk about so much. Plus, college parties are a unique experience not to be missed. A lot of real punks, had they had the chance to get a good education, probably would've taken it. Same with a lot of the hardcore metalheads. Fuck, that one dude from Bad Religion has a PhD!

and the only way you can vent your pathetic self hate is through your shitty punk music..... SHUT THE FUCK UP PUNKS I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!

What was that about maturity again? Fuck, Stu, I'm a metal-brother, man, but shit, don't take the low road like that. Kills the argument. Like every genre, there's punk bands that suck and punk bands that don't suck. There are also bands who aren't punk but claim to be so, and bands that aren't punk who don't claim to be so, but their idiot fans do (I'm talking to you, Blink 182 fans).

P.S. Queen Bee I don’t care if you put this on your site, I seriously doubt you will, but try and give me a legit answer so maybe you can explain to me realistically why punks do what they do. Thanks

And we end with the apologetic sympathy tug....she put it on the site, Stu, because she's going to use your frothing little note as evidence that we metalheads are all morons. Thankfully, Stu, I'm here to try and do some damage control.

The Queen Bee respondeth thusly:

Dear Funny Guy,

How dull my column would be without pissed of gems like yourself! Sounds like someone lit a huge explosion under your pants! That's okay! That's what I'm here for!

See there? No "why are you an ass," at least not to start with.

First off; I find it very impressive that you happen to know who the vast majority of punks are, seeing that punk rock has spanned the world over since the 1970's and has influenced other genres of music, style and other forms of expression! It takes personal experience to form an opinion!

Sure as shit it does, and I love the sarcasm there. Fucking love it, even if it's being used against a fellow 'eadbanger.

Many young people are frustrated and confused by the mis-information they are fed by the media and have a right to defy it! I found myself very digsruntled by the system after being institutionalized for 9 months when my only crime was being a shy, B-average 10 year old student!

Absolutely. I used to love the media- I loved seeing corrupt politicians and businessmen who thought they were beyond reproach get the egg in their faces they rightfully deserved. Somewhere along the line, too many journalists became more concerned with Pulitzers than proactive-ness. I fucking miss Walter Cronkite, Charles Kuralt, and David Brinkley. I wish I could've gotten to see more of Edward R. Murrow's work when it was current news. Now Jayson Blair is exposed for a fraud and instead of being sent into obscurity like he deserves, he gets a fucking half-million dollar book deal?

So fuck yeah, fight media bias. Never trust a single source for all of your news.

The only thing that got me through school was a lethal dose of Jesus and Jello Biafra! I got suspended 3 times and almost expelled the same year I got on the B-honor roll in high school! I don't need a fucking badge of honor. I've got scars to prove what I lived through.

"Jesus and Jello Biafra?" I really can't touch that one....the two seem so contradictory, but if it worked, it worked I suppose. Me, I was too much of a nerd to get into too much trouble (an hulking, brooding, scowling, muscular nerd, but a nerd nonetheless). I was obsessed with getting into a good college. I slacked off senior year, sure- but I never really made any negative waves. This is one reason why I will never claim to be "more metal" than a lot of metalheads. I manage to avoid trouble.

I've listened to all styles of music and quickly became bored with the endless guitar wanking, epic 3-chord drudgery and silly falsetto vocals of metal.

Sorry, Queenie....I love yer column but I have to disagree. If you are going to take Stu to task over not knowing enough about metal, don't do the same thing and lump every metal band into the same category, OK? You're right about hair metal- there is a lot of guitar wanking (we metal fans like to call it a "guitar solo"). Epic three-chord drudgery? Have you ever listened to a Motorhead record? That is anything but drudgery. What about Metallica? Megadeth? Anthrax? Pantera? More than 3 chords, I assure you.

Then there are the silly falsetto vocals. Yes, hair metal likes the silly falsetto vocals. The examples I've already mentioned don't really have that vocal style (well, excepting Joey Belladonna, but it was half-parody when he did it anyway).

I'm not saying you have to like metal, but don't make fun of Stu's lack of punk knowledge when you have demonstrated you only know one style of metal. Yes, it takes a certain amount of shamelessness to like cock-rock. But fuck, there's more to metal than that.

And _no one_ has truly listened to "all styles of music." Granted, you seem to be saying that you have listened to a wide variety of music (which I don't doubt). There was even a guy who came to my college to speak once that recorded music from remote parts of the world. He has a huge library of music that might have been forgotten had he not recorded it. We're talking about him recording a tribe's ceremonial music one night, going back to camp, and returning the next day to find the entire tribe wiped out. If he hadn't gotten it on tape, it would've been lost to the ages. You've given a lot of styles of music a listen- as I mentioned before, this is admirable. It is also the one point where you agree with Stu. Don't lay claim to something that is well nigh impossible, though.

Queen Bee goes on....

Have you ever heard the classical pianist that plays nothing but Dead Kennedy covers? Where were you when all the other mullets crossed over to punk, anyway?

I have not heard of that pianist (it sounds interesting though, so I'll have to look into it). Have you heard of the four cellists who do nothing but Metallica covers?

In my case, I never had a mullet to begin with. In Stu's case- well, fuck if I know, maybe he never had one either. As far as where we went, I can't speak for him, but I know where I went. In addition to exploring more of the earlier metal bands to go along with the solo Ozzy and Pantera, I got into grunge to a degree too. Granted, most of the alt-rock/grunge bands I liked had metal-like or metal-inspired riffage (I love the crunchy guitars), but I expanded my horizons and tried something new. I liked some of it- a lot. Gruntruck is one of my favorite bands from that era, and sadly I never got to see them live. However, I was equally into the progenitors of metal, like Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, and Deep Purple. Having a metal guitarist cousin didn't hurt.

When I was younger, I was more ignorant, and I thought punk was like metal without the musicianship....I have grown up a little and realize there is more to it than that.

Besides that, I don't believe in being a purist of any sort! That's the kind of close-minded thinking that turns you into a hypocrite and gets you into trouble with yourself!

I think I've given enough evidence that I am not a purist. I just don't think it's totally fair to point out how narrow-minded Stu is when you've generalized his favorite genre as much as he did yours.

All politics are nonsense to me and anyone that believes everything they see on television deserves to be offended!

I'm sorry if you don't understand politics, and the comment about TV, while true, adds nothing to your case. Sorry....

Give the young-uns a fucking break! They're still trying to find their place in the world! If it wasn't for their energy and tenacity, this world would stand still and you old jaded farts would be fucked!

I used to think I was jaded....but I'm far too fucking pissed off to be jaded now. I try not to be too harsh with the kiddies for liking the stuff they like, but I can't stand it when they act like little know-it-all shits when it comes to whatever music they like. This applies to punk kids, metal kids, rap kids- any of them. It saddens me to see kids all but totally ignorant of the roots of their favorite genres. Punk kids who think Good Charlotte is as good as punk gets- fuck, I'm a metal guy and even I know about The Sex Pistols, Iggy Pop and the Stooges, The New York Dolls, and (god bless you Joey) The Ramones. Do I know everything? No. It wouldn't kill the kids to at least sample a few songs though. I have equally little respect for metal kids who think Cradle of Filth and Mudvayne are as heavy as it gets. Wrong answer- allow me to force-feed you some Iron Maiden or Slayer, little buddy. Then there are rap kids who think 50 Cent is fresh and new. Guess what, little suburban terrorist? NWA and Ice-T were doing that shit (and doing it better) 10 years ago. It won't kill you to listen to some De La Soul, LL Cool J, Run-DMC, Afrika Bambaata, or Grandmaster Melle Mel either. Know your history. I know mine, and as much as it frustrates me to hear fewer and fewer fresh bands hit the mainstream, it is nice to be able to tell that those guys in Godsmack were Rush and Alice in Chains fans.

People don't just "grow out of it", either. They just "grow older" and priorities change with responsibility. I can't help but feel at one time I may have fit your description to a T- as in "Tank Girl"!

I already agreed with you about this, so no point in rehashing it.

I am thankful to have experienced the reckless abandon of punk-fucking rock! You ought to get offa that hoppity horse of yours and try it sometime! The freedom of stage-diving 5 times and having your feet never touch the floor! The adrenaline that rushes you scream "motherfucker" over the mindless durge of maniacal noise!

It's cool that you're thankful for the punk. I am too. If it weren't for punk, Lemmy might've never left Hawkwind and formed Motorhead- and that's just one example (see? History.). One more that comes to mind are The Wildhearts. They are a bit punk, a bit metal, a bit pop-rock, and all a blast to hear.

Stage diving 5 times without touching the ground? You think that's unique to punk? Punk originated it, sure, but if you think that you can't get that elsewhere, you are wrong- even the nu-metal kiddies are doing that shit now. They stole it from you.

Screaming "motherfucker" over the mindless durge [sic] of maniacal noise....yes, we've done that too- ever hear Pantera play "Fucking Hostile" live? You wanna hear fucking noise? Listen to the guttural roar of a few thousand rabid metalheads shouting "HOSTILE!" as loud as they can. Even though he's not "purist" metal, you could even listen to thousands of Rob Zombie fans scream "Hey, YEAH!" along to "Superbeast." Go borrow a copy of Black Sabbath's Reunion set and listen to those fans rattle the roof in Birmingham during "Paranoid."

You should say "Thanks be to God" for the fact that monsters like me vent our frustrations through music, and not through bashing YOUR skull!

And once again, a chance to perhaps reach out to one metalhead and make some sort of contact is lost with this statement. This is what I don't fucking understand. I must need to do more reading, since I was a bit young for punk's heyday.

P.S. You no like punk?...Than no listen!

I am going to listen....at least until I have a good idea of what constitutes the real deal among the current bands and dig more into the pioneers beyond fucking Combat Rock, which most of my punk friends in college called "The Clash's Pop Album." You gave hair bands a chance, and didn't like 'em. Since I am going to try to learn more about punk, maybe you could give some other metal or hard rock a chance.

Now, can someone please explain to me why punks and metalheads hate each other so much? OK, so one is loud, chaotic, and raw, and the other is just as loud, somewhat controlled chaos. Big fucking deal. Here we are, fans of two of the last genres on earth that have any real passion for protest, unbridled emotion, or just outright debauchery, yet instead of turning to face our common enemies:

- commercialized, watered-down pop versions of the real deal(s), - repetitive, boring, unoriginal mainstream rap, - modern country music (which is basically twangier guitar pop), - big-name labels who keep talent down or hold them back in the name of profits (when letting the artists have total control would probably let them have more profits), - and homogenized radio stations that won't give new artists a chance until L.A. does,

we turn on each other over petty little things. Who cares which came first? Who cares which has more "musicianship?" Don't we all love the same things: loud-ass guitar, getting wasted, screaming in rage to the din, and having the best time of our fucking lives? Don't we both love tattoos and scaring the shit out of anyone who isn't with us? Don't we both love the idea of parents fearing that their children listen our favorite bands? Haven't we both already purchased one-way tickets straight to hell? I believe we have.

I have found evidence of punk vs. metal concerts already. Band battles as it were. I hope that one day headbangers and punks can rage together, whether it be to the likes of Prong or Rancid (fuck, see why I want to learn more about punk? I know a lot of punks can't stand Rancid). I want to see headbanger boys falling in love with punk rock girls. I want to see punk dudes making out with metal chicks. I want to see a guy lend someone his Megadeth CD for the weekend in exchange for borrowing an Operation Ivy CD. I want to see us standing together as one front, saying to the tools who turn our beloved tunes into tasteless, toothless mush to be forced down the throats of the masses "Enough! We are going to spread the word! We are going to show kids what rock and roll is all about, and you can't fucking stop us!"

I beseech you, brothers and sisters- if you love real music, music straight from the dark hearts and twisted minds of the people who play it- spread the word. Teach the kids that there's more to metal and punk than Puddle of Mudd and New Found Glory. Show them there is more to music than mainstream radio and (ugh) MTV. If they already know about getting away from the mainstream, encourage it. Let that punk kid listen to a track or two of Black Sabbath, and that metal kid listen to some of the Ramones. Who knows- if enough people realize they are being fed junk, maybe they will go cold turkey and the big record labels will take notice.

"Music can change the world."
--Ludwig van Beethoven

Rock on, Ludwig my man. Rock on.

---END OF LINE---

"I am sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing."

1.1- fleshrender adds a new feature....

Hey, kids!

Want to know what your bitter ol' Uncle Fleshy thinks of, well, anything?

See that link at the bottom of this post? About questions being submitted in writing? Click it and ask me something. If it's good enough it might make the blog!

NOTE: fleshrender reserves the right to do whatever he sees fit with your email. He agrees not to share your email address unless you grant permission. By submitting an email to ask_fleshrender, you waive the right to any guarantee of a prompt, correct, accurate, or humorous answer. You also waive the right to an answer at all. You also grant full copywright to fleshrender for the purposes of publishing your email here or elsewhere, and you agree not to use my response without quoting me. Put the blame where it belongs, kids. By submitting an email you also waive the right to avoid being mocked if you do "anything stupid," which includes (but is not limited to) any of the following: pathetic insult attempts, all caps (LIKE THIS), no punctuation, no capitalization, no sentence structure. If you are not a native English speaker or if you have difficulty writing coherent English, please say so as fleshrender will likely have a cheap laugh at your expense otherwise. Furthermore, fleshrender takes no responsibility for any events that occur as a direct or indirect result of following his advice. Fleshrender is not a licensed psychiatrist, psychologist, counselor, aide, or anything else. Use fleshrender's advice at your own discretion. Parental guidance is not suggested- they won't understand it either. Offer void where prohibited (which should be everywhere). Offer void to anyone who asks for help in transeferring money from the late President of Nigeria's offshore account- fuck you you fucking 419 scamming jizzmopper. Fleshrender does not like to boogie on the disco-round, yeah. In short- it's just my damned opinion, and anything you do with it is your responsibility.

---END OF LINE---

"I am sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing."

More music and whatnot....

Don't know why I've been obsessed with music lately. I suppose it's because musical tastes are seen as an easy way to judge someone, rather than taking the more difficult and proper route of getting to know someone.

In between job searching I was looking around on Sleazegrinder, and I went to the Flash Metal Suicide entry on Pantera. From there I went on to Dimebag and Vinnie's website for their new band Damageplan. Curious as to what others who like it loud were saying, I slipped into the forums.

Things like this remind me of how hard it is being a metal guy.

People were flaming each other left and right. Submoronic drooling peons who don't deserve to own a computer, much less have Internet access, were posting flame-bait about how the band sucked and how black metal is the coolest thing around. Sad, racist schmucks who still blame minorities for everything they hate about their lives saying "n----rs" this and "n----rs" that. Even more people throwing around such inspired insults as "u r a fag" and "u suk ur dad's dick." There were some regulars that actually bothered to form complete sentences. Some were pretty articulate. Most of them were passionate about their favorite bands and sub-genres.

Hold it. I need to establish my position here. First off, I'm not a racist. I am prejudiced though- we all are to some degree. Anyone who says they aren't is a goddamned liar. Me, I am prejudiced against ignorant fucks and people who refuse to use their brains. I am prejudiced against people who would judge me on anything except my character and personality. I am only fond of extremist Bible-thumping Christians because they are painfully easy to ridicule.

If you think I'm an arrogant asshole, that is fine with me. That is hating me in particular. Hating me because I'm white, a half-breed Jew, a borderline agnostic, a Southerner, college-educated, in a lower tax bracket, a political independent, or because I prefer a t-shirt and blue jeans to that cheap-ass mock-yuppie Old Navy crap makes you a moron. I would pity your sorry ass, if I cared.

The sad thing to me is that this type of metal fan is missing the point when they harbor racist or homophobic attitudes. Instead of fighting the real enemies- corporate fatcats who buy votes and strain the wealth gap to sickening lengths, these fools continue to blame blacks, or Jews, or gays, or leftists, or eco-terrorists, or other people who aren't the fucking problem. I promise, if there was an international Jewish conspiracy- I'd be there, man. I wouldn't be near-broke and writing this shit.

For you non-metal fans, we're not all a bunch of stupid rednecks. Some of us are quite intelligent- at worst, it is safe to say that there are no more idiot metal fans than there are idiot fans of other genres. Oh I'm wrong? Ten million copies of the Spice Girls sold? And no naked pinups in the liner notes? Explain that one, then.

And don't think I'm excepting classical fans either- one self-styled classical fan once told my father about how he planned on making a donation to the local "sympathy." That's right, not "symphony" but "sympathy." At least the dumber of metal fans actually like the music- too many people go to classical concerts to "look sophisticated" and don't know a fugue from a concerto.

I know a decent amount of metal history because I was a dedicated fan of Headbanger's Ball and metal magazines, and I have a cousin who used to play lead guitar for Atlanta-based Witch Doctor. I've even read an anthropological book about it. So I'm more of the scholarly type of fan. Am I as 'metal' as those crazy guys who spent their teens and twenties in New York or L.A, playing for next-to-no money in sleazy dives every night and getting drunk/high? No, nor will I claim to be. I'm just a dude from middle-class, suburban America who tapped into the fueled anger and lust that metal offered to me. Once I heard the crunch of those loud guitars, I was done. I first got in because of the rebellious vibe, but I stayed for the loud guitars and blistering bass, the pounding drums and the sometimes screechy, sometimes guttural, but rarely dull vocals. I liked a fair number of bands from the grunge era because I could tell they listened to metal or at the least Black Sabbath and/or the metal-inspiring Led Zeppelin.

If it was loud, I liked it (and still do). I am by no means a purist metalhead. I like the originators like Sabbath and Judas Priest, those who continued the tradition like Metallica and Megadeth, those who put their own twist on metal like Anthrax and Prong, and even loud grunge bands like Alice In Chains, Nudeswirl, and Gruntruck. In my opinion, Alice was a metal band dragged kicking and screaming under the grunge umbrella. Listen to the stuff from Facelift and compare it with Dirt. Grunge-type lyrics, but there's metal guitar grooves under the veneer.

I understand that the radio business is about making money. I worked as a peon for a radio station for a year. Some say radio has gotten worse since the AOR (album-oriented rock) trend started dying off in the late 70's. I am not so sure about that, but I can say that in the 80's there were stations, or at least DJs, who would take chances and play new acts that they thought were promising or at least had one good single. Even the Top 40 station where I live, back in the late 80's and into 1990, was playing obscure groups I had never heard of before- local acts, not necessarily the hottest thing from the two Big Cities. Stuff that didn't even make it into Rolling Stone or Spin (back when those magazines still meant something). Yeah, there was a lot of mainstream schlock, but every so often you'd hear something and say "Whoa, who is this?" Even the schlock back then had some variety.

Now, thanks to the wonders of deregulation, all of the stations sound the same. Well, not every single one, but 98% of stations of any given format have the same, or almost the same playlists with very little deviation. A college buddy of mine once timed how long a Top 40 station's playlist went before it repeated itself over a period of days. This is what bored smart people do. The results? The playlist, with very few exceptions, repeated every 2½ hours. Every so often they would change out a song and then repeat the new list again and again. Now all of the stations wait with baited breath to see what New York or (especially) L.A. tells them is "hot."

What do we get now? The same sappy-ass, tired pop shit that Christopher Cross was doing (and doing better mind you) in 1979. Instead of rap that's interesting, funny, or has a real message, we get the same money-and-hoes bullshit that was done ten years ago (and yes, I like listening to old-school rap from time to time. It's great party music that doesn't scare the non-metal people as much). Instead of hearing truly interesting metal or hard rock bands, we hear droll, dull rock-rap/rap metal with mostly white-bread rappers who are as suburban as I am.

We've had this new '1978' (my term for it) retro thing shoved down our throats too, with the likes of The White Stripes, The Strokes, and Jet. I admit it- I like "Fell In Love With A Girl." Raw, cheap-sounding, and fun, plus a video done entirely in Lego (hey, I am part geek after all). I also liked "Last Night" until I heard another Strokes song that sounded almost exactly the same (and another after that). Jet's "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" sounds an awful lot like "Last Night" with a Black Crowes-ish hook tacked on the end of the main riff. In the end, I will probably download "Fell In Love..." from Rhapsody or whatever and be done with this fad. Don't even get me started on The Vines....

Then there's nü-metal....ah yes....some people call it "carrying the torch," others a "blasphemy." Creed annoys the crap out of me. Too sappy. Disturbed had a good, fun (if relatively brainless) single in "Stupefy." Admit it, it's not a bad little riff either. Godsmack, I will admit I have a soft spot for them. They have an interesting pseudo-mysticism vibe, they started as an Alice In Chains cover band, they dedicated a song to Rush's Neil Pert (one of, if not the best drummer of all time), and they seem to have bits of The Cult swimming around in their music. I haven't bought any CDs of theirs but I can't help but like 'em. I'm getting soft in my old age, heh heh. I like Korn too, in small doses. Does this mean I think they're "real" metal? No. They are fun to listen to sometimes though, you just have to remember that they have been run through a pop filter.

And anyone that thinks I'm not a metal fan because I actually know a bit about how the music biz really works, sit down, shut the fuck up, and pay attention. If you can prove you have been in the biz and know what you're talking about (and I will know), then I will defer to you and even share your thoughts here. Until you've seen the business from even the semi-insider perspective that my job as a radio flunky gave me, you know nothing.

Which brings me back to my anti-over-capitalist argument. Deregulation, instead of creating more competition, has all but killed radio. Instead of more variety, we have even less. I pray that Sirius and XM Radio get a lot of business and make conventional radio wake up.

"But what about internet stations," you ask? Let's face it- they don't have the kind of reach radio does. Yes, they can be accessed worldwide, but it only takes about a minute or two to scan the dial. Not enough people have ready access to broadband that would allow them to search internet radio that quickly. Even if they do, web radio is still seen as a gimmick. Most people, when looking for an ISP, don't say "does your service have any problems with streaming audio from _____?" Give it time, as I do think eventually it will mean more. Internet radio just doesn't seem to have that big an impact right now, from a business point of view.

The music business used to say "hey, this band plays good music that will make us money if we sign them." Now it's "hey, this band will make us money if we sign them and have them play what we think is good music." Don't believe me? How else did Britney Spears ever get a record deal? It's not like she can sing or anything- she has "a look" (as it is called) and can work a crowd on stage. To deny that she can't get a crowd going is foolish. To pass her songs off as anything but overproduced pop fluff is even more so. Three simple words: Britney can't sing. She really is the new Madonna because Madonna could work up a crowd but has a lousy voice too.

The endless bickering about what is thrash, speed metal, black metal, heavy metal, progressive metal, or whatever else is pointless. It's really more a question of "does it rock?" If it makes you want to put your fist (or the "sign of the devil") in the air, than it probably does. If you wish you had a rock slut and beer/Jack Daniel's/Jim Beam to go along with it, it probably does too. If it makes you want to mope around and feel depressed about your last breakup, or makes you want to write stupid poetry, it probably doesn't.

Rock is about rage; anger at what is really wrong with society. Rock is about lust; acknowledging and sometimes even celebrating your primal urges. But more importantly, as I say below, above all else, real rock is about an earsplitting, raucous, sometimes sleazy, but always fun time. It celebrates the realization that in the end, everyone rock, metal, punk, or none of the above are just looking to get drunk, or high, or laid, or paid, or a combination of the above at the end of the night. Whether it's the debauchery of hair bands, the driving thunder of speed metal, or the sleazy bar-rock of bands like Buckcherry, it comes down to a bunch of people who, despite all their differences, are all there to hear some loud-ass music and have some damn fun.

And what, pray tell, is wrong with that?

---END OF LINE---

"I am sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing."

It is hard to come up with a good rant....

When you are busy as all hell. Good ranters have a lot of time on their hands, or they get paid to do it. Between selling old memories (namely, Transformers) and continuing to find a job that will let me escape the corner I've spent 5 years painting myself into, it's been busy.

No, the Shadows of Undrentide expansion for Neverwinter Nights has nothing to do with it. Okay, so I killed my weekend playing it. Deal with it.

You want a good, high-quality rant? Leave it up to Pepsi Sheen, Flash Metal expert at Sleazegrinder.com, to give one a new perspective on hair band legends Motley Crue. Click here to read it.

Now granted, I wasn't aware of all of the details of Razzle's (drummer from Hanoi Rocks) death, except that Vince Neil was drug-and-boozed all up to hell, and Razzle rode with him to the next party before the crash occurred. Now to find out about the new Crue DVD mocking the seriousness of that crash bugs the shit out of me.

Drunk driving being patently stupid aside, it'd be different if Neil had plowed into a tree and no one else had been hurt. But he basically killed Razzle and got off with little punishment. Sadly, this is one particular crime he might not have needed to have as much "stroke" to avoid the full punishment (where I live, DUI doesn't seem to be a big deal- it's sad). Now they're making fun of the whole thing and using it as a device to sell more product.

His article gets off onto tangents briefly, but they do remain salient to the bottom line: The Crue are some of the most selfish, excessive, juvenile bastards in rock'n'roll history. Sadly, Pepsi my man (rather presumptuous to say that, but hey, I love the man's work and if I ever meet him the first beer's on me), the truth is, that's why people love them. That attitude's what made them their money. They act rebellious and defiant, yet they milk "the system" for all it is worth.

I have to take a few exceptions though, as I always do. First off, I think it is good that he focuses his attack on Nikki Sixx and to a lesser degree, Vince Neil. Tommy Lee is, well, just too stupid to put that "I'm a rebel" crap on and yet still be a big celebrity. I think he is wise to the fact that he has made an assload of money, the fact that he is very fortunate, and the fact that he can only be a rebel in the studio these days....maybe the prison stint cleared it up a bit. He is rumored to be a major dick, but at least he puts on a good show of being grateful for the cameras (assuming he’s not sincere). Give him credit for at least accepting, nay, for embracing his celebrity status. Besides, he's not with the Crue anymore.

As for Mick Mars, well, let's face it- he's just glad he was able to hang with some young kids that ended up being "cool." That'd be like my late-20's ass hooking up with a bunch of teenagers in a band that turned out to be the next, say, Sum 41 or something (to use an example of barely-20's pop stars). Can you blame the guy for taking advantage of that? I sure as shit would. With all of the charges Pepsi leveled at the Crue, how much do you think Mick Mars played in that? We hardly know the guy, except he likes playing guitar, he's old, and he's a bit quirky even for a rock star. Mick never complains about not being a rebel because he hardly says anything.

The Beastie Boys have done more than their fair share of charity work....if it weren't for them my then-ignorant ass might never have heard about the situation in Tibet- y'know, the one everyone's forgotten (along with hundreds of other injustices at home and abroad) in the wake of "Rebuild Iraq fever." Spoiled, privileged, maybe....but they are trying to do something with it for others. That certainly has to count for something. Also, they never claimed to be anything but the frat-boy goofs that they are.

This quote gives everyone reading this something to think about. I took pause, that's for sure (his caps, not mine):

NEW RULE: IF YOU CURRENTLY OWN MORE THAN THREE PAIRS OF CREEPERS, OR 100 CD'S [sic], STOP YOUR FUCKING SOBBING.

Think about it. If you can read this, there are people out there who have it worse than you.

I know I have it pretty good....but I remain miserable, which makes me feel even worse about it, which in turn feeds my misery. It's not "normal," but it is there nonetheless. Once I can afford medication, I will probably take it again, so I can have normal ups and downs instead of the overhanging gloom that marks a typical day for me. I hate it. I try to remind myself of these things both to keep my life in perspective and as a half-hearted attempt to cheer myself up.

---END OF LINE---

Bored...

Antisocial Indifference

Which Inner Demon (tm) Possesses You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Damn it....two days and I haven't ranted yet....eh, give it time.

---END OF LINE---

Jury Duty is fun....

Well, jury duty is over.

There were 12 picked plus an alternate. I was one of the original 12 but I got sent home as the "extra."

Upside- I am done.

Downside- I have a feeling the guy's going to get nailed to the wall. Hope I'm wrong.

It all boils down to a case of opinion vs. opinion and testimony vs. testimony. In light of everything (which would take forever to go over, just like it did during the trial), I felt that out of the charges (possession with intent to sell coke, possession with intent to sell marijuana, and underage drinking), he was only guilty of underage drinking and "simple" possession of marijuana (i.e. having a small amount typefied by a pot smoker, not a dealer).

While I have my suspicions about the guy's involvement, as the evidence was presented in court, I couldn't have convicted him fully. The other man involved was driving the vehicle where the drugs were found. He was also high on cocaine at the time of his arrest and already pled guilty to lesser possession charges to avoid a harsher sentence "because they were in my car and I was going to be held liable anyway."

I assure you I didn't base my conclusions solely on that fact alone, but it, combined with his fuzzy testimony, certainly played a part.

Today was a perfect example of how imperfect our court system can be, despite the fact that it is better than other systems in the world. Deep down, I suspect both guys knew exactly what was going on and each denied everything in order to avoid punishment (or in the driver's case, reduce it). But based on what was presented in court, there wasn't enough proof the defendant did it all.

My big question is- what about fingerprints? Do plastic baggies not hold a print?

Anyway, I'll rant about stuff later.

---END OF LINE---

I suppose I should say a little more to get things rolling.

OK, how about I start with the title explanation?

That's an easy one. "Black Dahlia" is the title of an Anthrax song. Not very original.

There's something about the way John Bush repeats the line "Black dahlia's in my head" that just made it feel right.

By the way, the latest album is called We've Come For You All. If you're sick of your stupid, poseur friends telling you how "hardcore" their favorite emo, punk-pop, or nu-metal group is, get this CD and school 'em in how to kick ass.

And tell 'em fleshrender says "your music is for fucking poseurs." (That's pronounced "posers;" I just give credit to old-school skaters for spelling it the snooty French way).

Back to jury duty tomorrow. Once the trial's over I'll naturally editorialize the whole thing. I'm a rat bastard and I have a fucking reputation to maintain.

---END OF LINE---

The beginning of something....crusty.

Congratulations, fleshrender. You have a blog now.

You've finally caught up to 1999.

Whoo!

---END OF LINE---